Harmony at Work

At a recent meeting, the CEO of a financial services company shared with me a conversation he had with one of his leadership team members. They were discussing ways to keep the staff motivated.

The CEO had said, “It’s important to be cheerful. I do my best to be cheerful every day. I may not always smile—if I am lost in thought, for example—but I am usually cheerful.”

“Boss,” said the other, “it’s always better when you smile.”

Whether we are bosses or not, we may not always be aware of the signals we are sending at the office. The rest of the team may be scrutinizing us, analyzing and interpreting our mannerisms, which, on our part, may be unconscious.

In a recent interview by the McKinsey Quarterly, management expert Robert Sutton shared the following story about an executive vice president whose company was going through hard times:

…one of the secretaries walked up to him and said, “When are the layoffs going be?” And he says, “What?” And then she went to explain. She said, “Well, it’s an ‘interesting shoes’ day for you.”

What this guy has a reputation of doing is he can’t look people in the eye when he’s upset about stuff, so he would always be looking at his shoes. They were saying, “The boss is having ‘interesting shoes’ day.” So from just the fact the guy walked around not looking anybody in the eye, she went straight up to him. So that to me is a pretty good sign he was oblivious to [his own habit], right?

In Effectiveness as an Employer (Lesson 15 of Success & Happiness through Yoga Principles), Swami Kriyananda gives the following guidance to people in leadership positions (and those aspiring to leadership):

Respect those who work under you. See them as human beings like yourself. Don’t expect them all to live at any one level of intelligence, talent, or capability. Look for the special strengths of each person working under you. Don’t dwell on anyone’s weaknesses or inadequacies. Assume that all of them have both strengths and weaknesses, as you have, yourself.

Never belittle the contributions of even the least of those who work under you. A boss must, above all, control his own emotions. Even if he loses his temper at times, he should never be ruled or rule others by it, and would be wise never even to show it. View with alarm, rather, any temptation you feel toward becoming angry. Anger is a fault to be overcome, rather than an emotion to be enjoyed. It obstructs the expression of truth.

Do you want to blame others? Then search out something blameworthy in yourself. You might try, when explaining a thought to others, to put it this way: “Perhaps I didn’t explain myself clearly. Let me try to put it better.” I remember one occasion many years ago, by contrast, when I wrote to a superior in my editing department and asked her to clarify something she’d written me.

Her peremptory reply was a stunner: “I never leave the reader in doubt as to my meaning,” she wrote. Was I not, after all, one such “reader”? And wasn’t I at least intelligent enough to be working in her department? The person you address may in fact be aware that the fault is really his. Still, he will appreciate your gesture if you try to help him to save face. The more you express yourself both sincerely and kindly, the better. Be kind. Be interested—especially in those working under you. Your manner of self-expression may be more effective than any specific words you employ.

When communicating with others, don’t look off to the side, or away from them. Look at them openly and sincerely. You may even find it helpful to gaze at the point in their foreheads between the eyebrows. This can help to raise both their consciousness and yours. Another common tendency people have is to gaze constantly back and forth between one eye and the other when speaking with someone. To my mind, this practice suggests uncertainty. You might try, instead, to look at them, again, between their eyes—perhaps even at the bridge of their noses or (again) between the eyebrows. (This will be a way also of not getting drawn into their magnetism.) If you look downward you may lower the level of communication between you. Looking off to one side, however, may give the impression that you aren’t really interested in the conversation. (Looking off to the side is natural, however, when one ponders a point deeply. It shows that he is taking the matter seriously.)

When speaking, convey energy through your eyes as well as through the tone of your voice. Think of other people as human beings, not as mere points of contact.

            What are these?

Tags: anger, leadership, negative emotions, techniques

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 1st, 2009 at 10:46 am and is filed under leadership, success course, techniques. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.